The Ritual of Non-Cliché Self-Care
Kelly Newsome Georges is the founder and owner of RitualCare.com, an online self-care studio designed to help moms be more resilient, especially through significant transitions.
During the Redefining What Self-Care Truly Is episode of BOSS™ Talk Kelly Newsome Georges shares a story about how she was just nine years old, when she witnessed her mother accidentally give birth to her little brother at home.
This experience fascinated Kelly, inspiring her to learn everything she could about mothers, babies, and birthing. But she never realized this passion could be a career. Like many of us do, she got “sidetracked into what was responsible” and started her career as a corporate lawyer.
Luckily, Kelly was able to return to her passion for helping mothers through important moments in their lives, starting Ritual Care® to provide moms with programs aimed at helping them develop resilience.
The Issue with the Self-Care Industry
Kelly entered the childbirth industry not only for her love of mothers and babies, but also because she noticed a disconnect between the way the industry presents self-care and what women actually need to do to nurture themselves.
“The self-care industry annoys the shit out of me,” says Kelly.
Too often we focus on tidy metaphors to describe what self-care should be – for example, the old airplane safety adage: “Put your own oxygen mask on first before helping others.”
The issue with clichés like these is that they ultimately still focus self-care on doing for others, which can quickly begin to feel futile as we seek instant gratification from those around us. What we really need to focus on instead is valuing ourselves independently of other people, self-care solely for the sake of taking care of ourselves.
“When [loving your fellow man] comes at the exclusion of you understanding your own value, then it becomes a real problem, because you’re self-caring specifically to help the other person. That leaves you empty.”
Non-Cliché Self-Care
Many of us struggle to incorporate self-care into our lifestyles consistently. We’re often quick to blame it on logistics (not having enough time, not feeling motivated, etc.), but what if our inability to practice self-care stems from a larger issue – namely, a misunderstanding of what self-care truly is?
Self-care ≠ self-centered. Self-care = self-worth.
To find that self-worth and sustain ourselves for the long haul, we need to focus on what Kelly terms “non-cliché self-care,” or practices that help us build resilience instead of quick fixes that provide momentary relief.
“Let’s do the real work. Let’s not just say the bubble bath is going to solve our problems.”
Practical Tips for Non-Cliché Self-Care
Combat Your Overwhelm
For Kelly, overwhelm looks like too many “to-do”s on her task list. Too many small things on her plate take her out of the overarching purpose of her work and into a day-to-day slog.
To balance the minutiae, Kelly has a planner where she tracks weekly, monthly, and yearly goals. By removing herself from “taskland” and refocusing on the big picture, it becomes clearer how each task contributes to her ultimate purpose.
Ritualize It
As the owner of a company called Ritual Care®, it’s no surprise that Kelly has many rituals of her own that help her connect with her “why” each day.
Before work, she recites a pre-work prayer to help center her in the moment and connect to larger creative forces. She’ll also often listen to a motivational podcast or book to remind her that entrepreneurship is a long game and not to lose sight of the importance of hard work.
Kelly ends her days with a cleansing ritual that involves washing her face, brushing her teeth, and showering. She literally “washes the day away,” symbolizing the end of one day and a fresh beginning for the next.
Understand Balance
We often hear “balance” thrown around as a catchword in self-care. But to Kelly, there’s a general misunderstanding around what balance actually is.
Balance isn’t necessarily having everything in even keel. Instead, it’s experiencing the natural contrasts in life – work, personal, success, failure, happiness and disappointment…the list goes on and on.
Ultimately, the richest and most realistic existence is one that fully embraces all aspects of existing, not one that expects perpetual smooth sailing.
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Connect with Kelly Newsome Georges at https://ritualcare.com/ to learn more about how you can adopt self-care rituals that will help you be more resilient.
And subscribe to the BOSSTalk Podcast for more tips on running a business you love while living your best life.