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The Importance of Self-Care, Mental Well-Being and ATTITUDE with Roicia Banks



Are you an entrepreneur struggling to prioritize your mental health? Join me and guest Roicia Banks as we dive deep into the topic of mental well-being for entrepreneurs. In this episode, we discuss the evolving nature of self-care practices and the importance of adapting them as you grow and change. Roicia shares her personal experiences and offers valuable advice on how to be gentle and kind to yourself, practice positive self-talk, and put yourself first. We also explore the significance of taking breaks and seeking support from accountability partners. If you're ready to prioritize your mental health and prevent burnout, this episode is a must-watch. Tune in now and start taking care of your well-being.


Go HERE for the Show Notes.




Right now, your assignment is YOU - and that includes your mental health.


As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves putting our businesses and goals ahead of our own well-being. However, taking care of our mental health is crucial for long-term success and overall happiness.


During the Empowering Entrepreneurs: The Importance of Self-Care, Mental Well-Being and ATTITUDE episode of BOSS ™ Talk with guest Roicia Banks we discuss the various ways in which we can prioritize our mental health, prevent burnout, and maintain a healthy work-life balance.


But this conversation about mental health is just the beginning.


We’re actually giving away a FREE registration to ATTITUDE: A Mental Health Summit for African American Women to a BOSS™ Talk podcast listener!


For an opportunity to win this free registration, simply:

  1. Download this episode

  2. Listen to this episode

  3. Review this episode on iTunes by November 10th, 2023.

 

Here’s the Transcript:


00:00:02

Welcome to another episode of BOSS™ Talk. I am your host, La'Vista Jones, and today I am so excited to be joined by my guest, Roicia Banks. Welcome to the show. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

00:00:15

I'm so excited for you to be here. So those that are listening that you may not know much about her, let me share some things about Ms. Banks. She has served children and families within the states and the tribal government for over ten years as a social worker and community advocate. In an effort to make a bigger impact, she became a sole owner and the founder of Social Roots, LLC, which was established in August of 2018. Social Roots provides a wide range of social work services focusing on African American and Indigenous communities.

00:00:52

Social Roots, LLC began as an independent social work consulting business and in 2018 was solely providing home visitation and behavioral health recommendations to attorney clientele. Social Roots expanded its programming to creatively and culturally impact those who disproportionately experience trauma. And again, I am so excited for this interview to just really highlight, take the opportunity to highlight the important work that is being done by a young, and I emphasize a young woman that is truly taking this world by storm. So again, welcome to the show. And let me ask you, are you ready to share how you are walking out your BOSS™ Talk?

00:01:42

Thank you so much, and yes, I am. Let's get started. Let's do it. So I want you to just start by telling us a little bit more about the audience that you serve, right? Because I think that you have a unique audience, know the base that you have created here in Arizona.

00:02:01

Tell us exactly who it is that you serve. Absolutely. So as a social worker, I serve anyone who is in need, who is in need of help, but who has my heart for service is the African American and indigenous community because those are the two communities that I am a part of. I was raised on tribal land in my tribal community, and obviously I walk around as a black woman, so I have that experience as well. And so those are the two communities that I primarily serve and try to do my best work with.

00:02:38

Got it. And so I was reading through your bio, right? And you were talking and it talked about the attorney clientele. So is that like a gal for the youth that are in those cases? Absolutely.

00:02:53

So I was previously employed at a specific place and I just started developing networking and developing relationships with other attorneys and being at court and started to hear a lot of the conversations of the types of needs that they were needing. And so that's kind of where that started. Just doing contract social work for the gal or just your regular civil attorney cases, any type of insight that they needed for children or the family's best interest. I love that. I have a friend back home in Ohio that did a lot of gal work.

00:03:33

So when I read that, I was like, oh. I was like, that sounds like that's like what? That is so very needed and unfortunately needed, right? Because sometimes they are dealing with some really rough situations. And like your bio said, that demographic of those that are experiencing trauma, and unfortunately, that includes our babies that are out in this world.

00:03:58

So thank you for doing the work that you do. Now, with that, there is one thing that was not highlighted in your bio and I definitely need to shed light on that, and that is the annual conference that you host that is called ATTITUDE. So this is your fourth year hosting this event. So a round of applause for that in and of itself for holding space for women year after year with this conference. So, first of all, I love the name, and so I'd love for you to give us some insight to the origin story behind why you named this conference ATTITUDE.

00:04:35

Yes, absolutely. So it actually came to me while I was in New Orleans at a conference myself, okay? And this conference was called Power Rising. And so if you can imagine, literally hundreds of Black women from all walks of life, doctors, lawyers, oh my goodness, Kamala Harris was there. Like, literally anyone who's anyone who is a Black woman was in this space.

00:05:02

And it was a four-day conference. And so we were just having a great time, sharing space with each other. And being from Arizona, there's not a lot of moments where that happens. It was so powerful. And Sunday came around and they had a brunch and a word kind of with that, which is kind of where I got the framework and was inspired by.

00:05:27

So we were all dancing to Beyonce, having a great time. And I remember this vividly. I remember waking, like, looking around and seeing literally a sea of Black women just having the best time. Hundreds. And then the word started.

00:05:47

And I'm not joking, like five minutes later, I turn around and I look at the same crowd and she was talking about sexual abuse. And all of those same women who are just partying it up are literally sobbing. And in that moment, I was inspired because I was like, how are we the most educated? We've got the most businesses, we are climbing corporate ladders. How are we all of these things and we still don't have time or space to heal and be us?

00:06:20

And I was like, I want to provide a solution to what I'm witnessing right now. What could that be? What could it be? And by the time I got back home to Arizona, it came to me, I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to do a mental health conference for Black women. What am I going to call it?

00:06:39

And I really wanted to be intentional with the words. And so I named it ATTITUDE, because as we know, Black women are seen and heard and all of these other things with our ATTITUDE. And so it's actually a play on words. And I wanted us to challenge our ATTITUDE about mental health and stigma and shame and challenge the things that we have been taught and learned, whether generationally or systematically. I wanted those things to be challenged.

00:07:11

The ATTITUDE of mental health, right? And so it's called ATTITUDE: A Mental Health Summit for African American Women. And this is the fourth year. That is so exciting. And so you do have a self care shop on your website, and so there are shirts that will be available soon.

00:07:27

They're sold out right now, but there's one in particular. It says, My ATTITUDE has deep roots. And I saw that shirt when I was going through and preparing for today's interview and I was like, I love that shirt. And so if you resonate with that story, that origin story, because I definitely do, when that shirt comes back onto the market, please go out to the self care shop and go get one. And we'll make sure to include the link to the self care shop in the notes so that they can go out and they can shop when it's available again.

00:08:04

So I know that you shared kind of a pivotal moment right at that conference where it's like, hey, one moment, everybody is up and kind of like jubilee, right, and dancing and having a great time. But then their conversation shifts to a trauma that far too many women, especially women who look like us, have had to deal with. I know, I have sexual assault history, right? It's far too common. Far too common.

00:08:32

And then looking around and seeing these women that were just having the time of their lives, like you also said, that are holding different offices and titles and out here running the world sobbing because they have this shared trauma amongst them. Tell us, really, was that it? What was the deciding factor that caused you to focus on mental health with this conference? Yeah, so that was the deciding moment. And because I'm a master social worker, in that moment, I said, what makes me different from them?

00:09:14

Why am I not sobbing? Why am I not losing it? So I am a survivor of sexual abuse. I'm a survivor of child sexual abuse. And like, all the things physical, emotional, I went I was in foster care until I was eight.

00:09:27

And so there are a lot of things that I personally experienced. And then I was like, well, how come? It's because when my Master of Social Work program, I was literally doing the healing and the unpacking. Then as I was learning, things were coming to me constantly about generational trauma and historical trauma and how that's impacted our communities. And so I was like, oh, well, that's it.

00:09:53

I was reading the tools, I was reading the answers. And they need the tools, they need the answers, they need the information. And so it was that deciding moment where I was like, I'm going to eliminate all of these factors and make it accessible. And so the other thing that I was also doing is being able to sit in the living rooms of grandmothers raising grandchildren and listen to the things that they were saying and that they were sharing about either behavioral health professionals or psychiatrists or people who just didn't understand the cultural things or they didn't trust them or they had bias. Right.

00:10:33

And so I was like, well, I'm going to eliminate all of that. And I'm only going to allow Black women who look like me, who are qualified, who have the education, who have the topics that need to be. Discussed to be able to disseminate this information in a way that's able that they can digest and that they can process, so that they can go. And as we know, Black women are the backbone of this society and our families especially. And so I knew that if I taught Black women, they would go back and teach their families.

00:11:06

They would go back and teach their communities. And so for me, that's what it was. It was an easy solution to say, hey, I'm going to provide a safe space for Black women and I'm going to have only Black women teaching Black women. I'm only going to have the women who can identify with them and ask those questions because they don't want to ask questions about medication. And oh, my son just got a diagnosis of ADHD.

00:11:33

What does that mean? They don't know my kid. They don't take time to learn my kid. And so it was really a place to we can let down our hair and unpack those things and say, yes, part of these things are true, but here are some alternatives, here are some resources that might meet your needs. It doesn't always have to be medication.

00:11:52

Sometimes it does have to be medication, but let's understand why. And so I just wanted to create a safe space for women to be educated, to make the best decisions that they can make for their families in a preventative matter. So I don't see them on the CPS or the DCS side of things. I can get that in the forefront by educating my community. I love that so much.

00:12:14

It's generational healing, right? Yes, absolutely. That is so great. And so let's talk about the specifics for the conference for a bit. So it's generally in January, right, the ones that you have had.

00:12:27

So this one is coming up January 6 through the 7th, 2024. So tell us where the listeners can go to actually register for ATTITUDE for next year. Yes, so exciting. So we are having it at the Parsons Leadership Center. You can go to socialrootsllc.org to get your tickets and RSVP for the event.

00:12:49

Now, I will say that every single year we sell out and I'm so excited about that. So please don't wait last minute. I always have this group of people standing by, please don't do that.

00:13:11

I'm sure we'll talk about this, but the price is a little higher from last year. But as we know, inflation and all of these other things. But in addition to that, each ticket, because I also have the Social Roots foundation, but each ticket purchase comes with a $50 donation into the Social Roots Foundation. And what that does is provide scholarships for Black women pursuing careers in mental or behavioral health. And so we really want to create an event that essentially it's a gift that keeps on giving.

00:13:43

And so please visit socialrootsllc.org to secure your ticket. Yes. And so I love that. The ticket to the conference itself also helps to feed the nonprofit, right? And it's kind of like a growing your own kind of cycle, right, of, hey, here are already trained professionals that look like you come to this space that is safe.

00:14:13

You can let your guard down. You can ask the questions that you need to ask. You can get the help that you need to get for you, for your family. And by doing so, by literally coming and helping yourself, you're also planting the seed for another woman that looks like you to be able to go to school so that she can help future generations to break some of these cycles, to help them with the things that are just there and prevalent and sometimes just standing in the way of our community. So I love that all of that is connected.

00:14:49

So please go out to the sites, get the tickets, and can someone like, if they're out of state or whatever and can't come to the conference, can they just donate to the nonprofit? Yes. And for that information, it is socialrootsfoundation.org awesome. Get the tickets LLC and then Social Roots foundation. And I will also add, if I may, that I intended this conference to be able to circulate the bag within our community.

00:15:18

So sponsorships and things like that, I'm able to hire Black women caterers, I'm able to hire Black women keynotes, I'm able to do so much more for Black women. And I'm so intentional with that. Our desserts are from a Black woman. So it's a continuous recycling of the bag in our community. I love that.

00:15:39

And so I think that's a great segue into the next thing I was going to ask you is what do you need for this conference? So I don't know if you know the history of BOSS™ Talk, but we started as an in-person networking type of an event, and that was the thing that we started off with every single session. What do you need? Instead of coming to the space and kind of posturing yourself, like, everything is great with me. This is why you should work with me.

00:16:01

Everything is perfect, while everything is kind of falling apart behind the scenes. It's like, Here, what do you need? Because hopefully somebody who is sitting in this audience is either the answer to that need or is connected to it and can actually get it to you so that that can be fixed and resolved and you can be better from being here instead of like, oh, everything is wonderful, and really, it's not. So what do you need for this conference specifically? Yes, thank you.

00:16:29

And I'm always a person who is going to lead with honesty. And so if I'm not well, I'll tell you I'm not well. But what I need specifically are two things. So I need a new network. So if people can share the event, if they can send it to their friends, invite people to bring come along, that will be great.

00:16:52

We do a great job each year, but I can only reach so many people within my own network. So that would be great to, one, share the event. The second thing is sponsorships. And so what does that look like? It can look like vendor sponsors.

00:17:07

People who have their own agencies can come and table and meet new clientele. It looks like corporate sponsorships. It looks like if you have a seat at the table saying, hey, we really should push for this event, or we can really sponsor this event, or this event meets the criteria of the mission that we say we're about, or DEI work people. I think the biggest thing is always going to be finances and money, because it costs to put on, right? But it's challenging for me to convince people to see value in African American women and their mental health.

00:17:53

That's my biggest challenge. So if I can get over the hurdle of soliciting sponsorships, that's always my biggest thing. So sharing the event, and then also whether that's connecting me with people who, you know, mike could be a good sponsor, or connecting me with or you yourself as a sponsor. So those two things are an absolute need. Got it.

00:18:20

Okay, so you have heard it directly from the visionary herself, what she needs. Let's help her with those two needs. So, again, we'll make sure that the link for the event itself is in the show notes for our listeners to be able to share. And then if anybody that is listening is interested in being a sponsor, what do they do? So they would need to reach out to me.

00:18:46

You can find me on any platform. You can also email me at Roicia@socialroutesllc.org. I spell my name roicia@socialrootsllc.org. And then just let me know that you want to be a sponsor, and I can send you our package of information that kind of details the goals and objectives. It has data we conduct pre and post surveys each ATTITUDE so that I can measure our impact as a community.

00:19:18

And so you are able to see the different level of sponsorships that you can select and what they come with. And so it's a simple email. It's a simple DM. I think this is an age where we can get in contact with people so easily anyway. So honestly, it doesn't matter what platform, but I have that information accessible.

00:19:43

Awesome. So you heard it here. You can slide in her DMs to discuss business. Business because she's got a nice little ring on her finger. Discuss business and business only.

00:19:55

Thank you. And so one of the things I want to talk about that comes with this ticket that is available right now is entrance to the conference both Saturday and Sunday. A dope swag bag. You've got catered breakfast for both days, lunch, and a little something extra for those that get this early ticket. And so here's a surprise that we're announcing on the show, that BOSS™ Talk is actually going to sponsor one of these tickets.

00:20:24

And so one of the ways for our listeners, just to make it easier for them to qualify, is three things. Simply download the show, listen to it, and actually leave a review on this show so that we can get some feedback. And if you do those things, then you will be in the drawing to actually win this particular ticket to go to the conference. We will take care of your registration for you. And so by the time this airs, make sure that you do those three actions again, download, listen, and write a review.

00:20:59

And we will make sure that you are in the house for ATTITUDE for this year. And we are happy to do so.

00:21:09

My pleasure, truly. And so I want to shift the conversation a bit still around mental health, though, but what do you think the greatest shift that Black women need when it comes to their mental health? Is it a mindset shift? What do we need to do as a community to shift, to actually prioritize our mental health as Black women? That's a great question and I'm going to go ahead and say no and rest.

00:21:42

Say that again for the people in the back. I can't wait for this question. Number one, saying no. And number two, prioritizing your rest. I think that we as Black women have really embraced this idea of superwoman and I can do this, I can do that, I can do it all, I can have it all.

00:22:08

You can. But life was also intended to enjoy and to be and to live in the here and now and oftentimes. I can speak for myself. I will be so busy with all of the things that I want to do that I can neglect anything, right? We don't have kids yet, but I can neglect my husband.

00:22:33

I can neglect my other work. I will say, for me, I have a full time job. I manage Social Roots, and prior to ATTITUDE is one component. But we also did international wellness retreats. And I also will add this.

00:22:52

If you have a person who can keep you as a what do they call? They hold you accountable. An accountability partner. If you can have an accountability partner. Mine just happens to be my partner who can say you're doing too much.

00:23:08

You need somebody around you to tell you and to let you know that you're doing too much and to lighten your load. Because like I said, although we can do all the things and we have proven this, we don't have anything else to prove. Like, we are it. And on top of that, we're tired. We're tired.

00:23:28

It's a lot of work. It's a lot of emotional labor and emotional baggage each day. We're constantly teaching. We're constantly doing things outside of our job descriptions. So I would say practice saying no has been one of the best things for me.

00:23:47

I've been doing this for almost six years now, and I say no with love. It's not me. It's not you, it's me. But it has saved me a lot of heartache and obligations. And there were times where I would sit down after a long day and be like, why did I say yes to this?

00:24:07

I just want to rest. I should have just said no. And when you don't take time to rest, God will literally make you. And you just really need to take care and listen to your body and your mind and be good for you, or you will not be good for anyone else. And I say that in the most non cliche way possible.

00:24:28

But it's so true. It is. It's very true, right? Because it's one of those things if you say yes to something else, you're saying no to something. And if that no is you and what you need, that's a problem.

00:24:42

That's a problem. And there's a story that I tell about my friend in the book. It's in this chapter that's called, like, There Is No Reward for the Overworked Woman of the Year. And I share this story about her, that she had a full time job. She also had a business that she was growing and she wasn't well, right?

00:25:02

She was constantly doing stuff for other people, constantly putting other people's needs above her own, just constantly putting herself at the bottom of the to-do list all the time. Didn't matter if she was tired. It didn't matter if she wasn't feeling well. And those that were around her, really, they benefited from that, right? Because no matter what she did, they needed more.

00:25:28

They needed her to do more. They needed her to be more. And eventually, she had a series of strokes that eventually left her paralyzed, unable to speak, and she died. She passed away. And that was actually the catalyst for me writing that book because I was so angry sitting at her funeral and listening to person after person get up and say, she was so selfless.

00:25:51

And she always gave herself she always put other people first. And I'm like, that's the problem. That's the problem. Like, my friend literally gave her life because she couldn't say no and she didn't prioritize the time to rest. That's very real.

00:26:13

Yeah. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. That hit really hard. And I'm so sorry that you experienced that loss. Yeah.

00:26:23

And so it's one of those things.

00:26:28

It's similar to your, I think, fire behind the mental health of Black women. I can't sit by and idly watch women kill themselves with busyness right. Doing the things that they're doing, working until 03:00 a.m. Because they're also juggling being a wife and being a mother and doing this and doing that. Because the earlier statement you had that you can have it all, I truly 1000% believe that you can have it all.

00:26:56

How whatever all is to you. But you do not have to kill yourself to do it. You just don't. Period. Period.

00:27:09

Your body will tell you before happening. Yeah.

00:27:15

Before I started Social Roots, I was suffering from a lot of health issues, specifically with my gut, with stress. They thought I had Crohn's disease. It was going biopsies and all these things. And once I left, I realized from that toxic work environment, it took me almost two years to detox the behaviors and the things that came from that. I don't have any other issues with my stomach.

00:27:42

I was like, it's stress. So we have to always consider our work environment and how we spend our time because it could kill you. Literally. Stress can kill you. Absolutely.

00:27:55

And yeah, it's one of those things like, clients' friends are not on my watch. It's not? No. We have to put an end to this. We have to.

00:28:06

Right? And so it's just kind of like we rebel against this idea of hustle culture that you've always got to go, go and be on the grind. It's just like bullshit. It is complete and utter bullshit that we have been fed and we're just like we just eat it up and it's like, oh, if I'm not doing this, if I'm not busy, and if I'm not on my grind 24/7, I'm not doing it right. And it's just like that's some b.

00:28:31

And some S. Oh, no, we're not doing that. We're letting all of those things and rest is such a priority. You need rest as much as you need food and water. Yeah, 1000%.

00:28:43

So speaking of rest and taking care of yourself, enlighten us right, to what is your go to ritual that helps you prioritize your mental health? Yeah. I have been exercising self care since I was 22. I learned very quickly, working at DCs in Houston, what kind of mental toll this work can take on you. And so I first want to say that my self care has grown, developed and stretched, and something that might work one day doesn't work another.

00:29:24

And so I really have a toolbox of self care. So depending on what the need is, it could be an immediate need, it can be a later need. So one of the things that I do every single day for my own mental health, something that makes me check off a box and say, I did that for me today is taking a walk. I live in Charlotte, North Carolina now, so it's different. And I would be doing it in Arizona.

00:29:54

I don't care if it was 110, I would be taking a walk. I have to take a walk outside. I have to see the sun. I have to be with the energy and really take time to be in nature, even if it's walk around the neighborhood, take time to look at the trees, take time to do those little things because they really do work wonders for your brain. That's scientifically proven.

00:30:22

It's not just something I'm saying, but it really helps. And so if there's anything that I can do for myself quickly, it's take a walk drinking lots of water. I'm a big water person, probably because I'm from Arizona, but also, like I said, saying no, that's a practice of self care for me. I also travel a lot, and I prioritize my budget. I'll say this because I don't want to sound like elitist or anything like that, but I prioritize my budget around traveling and trying new foods.

00:31:03

And so sometimes like once or twice a week, we will go out to a restaurant that I have already stalked on Instagram and Indulge. And as an experience for me, I wanted to be a chef before my mom told me, don't do that. And so I have a real passion for cooking and experiencing people's creativity. And so that brings joy to me in ways that I can't explain to other people. It's not just like I'm eating a meal.

00:31:33

I'm really experiencing another person's creativity. And so another thing that I do is which I made a video about this. I tried myself, I challenged myself to try new recipes because I think that we can all get into the rhythm of doing what is easiest in our kitchen. Just get meals out and get people fed, and we lose the love that's cultivated in that. And then we just wait for Thanksgiving to come around and do it again.

00:32:03

So I don't do that. I try my best once a week to take something that I see off the Internet and challenge myself. And for me, because that's what I love, that brings me joy. So I feel like that's my self care. And then of course, traveling, it could be to another state nearby.

00:32:28

I really just enjoy learning about other environments, other systems, social. Food, culture, museums. I'm really big on that. And I travel a lot for work, and so when I'm out for work and traveling, I'll already know where I'm going. I'll pick out a museum or something of that, because that's my inner child.

00:32:54

I didn't get to do that when I was growing up. I grew up on tribal land. And so I always am in a desire to help little Roicia do all the little things that she wanted. So for me, that's what self care is now. But, girl, when I was 22, it was like, I'm going out this weekend because I had a happy hour.

00:33:20

There's nothing wrong. Yes. But it's definitely developed over time to mean more to me than just whatever. And so sharing space with friends as well, all those little things do something to your soul. And the trick is, when it's happening, I tell myself, I am doing this for me.

00:33:43

I'm spending time with people that I love. This is self care. This is time that I cut out just for them. And for me, extra ten minutes in the shower. This extra ten minutes for shower, I'm going to be meditating.

00:33:58

This is for me. I'm going to be talking to God. This is for me. This is my self care. So it only really works if you make your brain known.

00:34:06

You got to acknowledge it. Yeah. You have to acknowledge it and celebrate it. I mean, the little things, like, those things matter, because self care doesn't have to be like this big audacious thing. I talk about drinking from these painted wine glasses that a girlfriend gave to me, and it's just like, okay, I could wait until I'm actually popping a bottle of wine to do that, or It's 12:00, it's time for my lunch.

00:34:34

I go downstairs, I grab it, I put my lemonade in there, and I drink out of the wine glass because it makes me happy. Yes. Right? And it's like, to me, that is self care, because I'm doing something that actually makes my heart smile. And it doesn't matter that it wasn't like a day at the spa.

00:34:53

It doesn't matter that it wasn't a trip across the globe. That lemonade in that wine glass that was from my friend made me smile. And I acknowledge that is me caring for myself. Yes. I love that.

00:35:09

That's such a great example. And it really all of the acknowledgement, and when you practice that, you get better at it, and you start to think, wow, I did multiple things for myself today, or, I didn't do anything for myself today. I didn't hear myself do any of that today, so I'm going to do something. Yeah, it's an adjustment. And to your point, right, when you're talking about what you used to do in your 20s versus what you're doing now in your 30s, it evolves.

00:35:37

Right? Your self care practices have to evolve with you because you're not the same person that you were when you were 20 or a teenager, or in your 40s, or in your 60s. And so, as you evolve as your life evolves as the people around you change and things like that. The way that you care for yourself has to evolve as well. Because I think that if you continue to try to put yourself in this cookie cutter mold, like, this is my self care, it's not going to do for you what it used to do for you.

00:36:09

And then it's going to set in like, well, I don't do self care well, or I suck at self care or whatever. And it's just like you haven't let yourself grow. Grow.

00:36:21

Within growing. There's so many other experiences that we have within growing. So lots of life has happened to me in the last five years where I'm losing my mom like a victim of a hate crime, like just craziness that had me feeling like I can't leave my house. So I'm going to have to figure out self care within this space because of the things that I'm experiencing in life right now. So all of those things, you constantly have to adjust.

00:36:51

And the first thing I always say too, is starting self care is speaking nice to yourself. Talk nice to yourself. Be listen, we say the craziest stuff to ourselves and it's just like this is stuff you would never allow somebody to say to your bestie or to your partner. You would hear somebody say something crazy like that to them. You'd be like, okay, taking off earrings, like vaseline it up.

00:37:20

And it's like, because now I've got to fight you because you're talking crazy to this person that I love. Why would we not feel the same way about how we talk to ourselves? Our self talk is like wild. And that's the number one self care, right? Absolutely.

00:37:40

Being gentle. Yeah, absolutely. So, last question I want to ask you. What advice would you give another entrepreneur that is currently struggling with their mental health right now?

00:37:54

Well, the first thing I would say is, congratulations, we're all human. That's a normal experience and you're not alone. That's the first thing because I think we have done a great job at acting like all things are great all the time. If you're a business owner, small or big, saving face is not something that I participate in. So the fact that they admit it, they need help, is something is worthy of being acknowledged.

00:38:26

And I would also say to take a break. It's okay to take a break. I think if someone ever told me it's okay to pause, you can totally pick back up when you're better, if that's a possibility. For some people, it may not be. But as we shared in the beginning of this show, stress or in the middle stress can take you out.

00:38:52

So either you're going to prioritize yourself and be committed to putting yourself first in the ways that you see fit, or you will have an opportunity to do so without any consent, being laid up in a hospital bed or what have you. So there's really no other way to look at that, in that you have to know that you have to be 100% before you can help anybody else. Before you can do for anybody else. And I think that we have to also let go of this idea that we bought into. Like, we're not worthy or we're not valuable if we're not producing something, if we're not serving someone.

00:39:39

And that's incorrect. That's totally false. You can do nothing for the rest of your life, and you would still be valuable to somebody. So I would say the first thing, take care of you. Pause, reset.

00:39:53

What does that look like? And have an accountability partner. Sometimes we're so in our own journey or in our own vision that we can't see that we need help. So maybe you don't know. So I would say also have an accountability partner.

00:40:10

Mine just happens to be my partner, and we had to sit down and have a real conversation, like, I love you, babe, but you're doing too much. I need you to let go of one thing. Do you know how long it took me to sit there and let go of one project? But after I stepped back and I was like, I really did need to let something go, it was causing me a lot of stress. So I would say, if you have the ability to look at yourself and say that you need help and you're struggling, do what you need to do to get there.

00:40:41

Because strokes, brain, aneurysms, all the things, there's so many things out there that literally you're okay one day, you're not okay the next. Then get somebody who also can hold you accountable to your mental health and to check in with you and say, hey, that was a stressful week last week. I just want to see where you're at. I know you've been working hard. Someone who can mirror in an honest manner if you have someone who can do that.

00:41:15

So that's what I would offer. Got it. So this has been a great conversation, and so I want to thank you so much for being my guest today and just sharing so openly. So please remind the listeners where and how they can connect with you after listening to the show. Yes, please.

00:41:32

So if you want to follow me on Roicia, I am Socialroots LLC. Also Roicia. The only Roicia in the world. Thank God. R-O-I-C-I-A Pretty easy to find.

00:41:45

You can also email me Roicia at socialrootslls.org, yeah, it covers all of it. Awesome. So for those that are listening, please download this episode and make sure to check out the show notes@therealbosstalk.com for the tips and resources that were mentioned. I am confident that something that was said in today's conversation with Roicia will resonate with you to challenge you to prioritize your own mental health and to prevent burnout. So allow me to leave you with this reminder that you can do what you love in the marketplace without sacrificing yourself to do it.

00:42:18

Until next time, continue to battle overwhelm with systems and self care and walk out your BOSS™ Talk.

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