Our little Cub is almost 8 months old now – time seems to be flying by. Prior to our son’s birth my Husband and I agreed on my decision to breastfeed and our little miracle got with the program just as soon as he was born (like he literally tried to nurse IN the delivery room). That being said, I have exclusively breastfed our Cub every single meal he has had his entire life, and yet after almost 8 months into this routine he can still react with such anxiousness about getting his milkies. From time to time as I’ve observed his responses to being hungry I’ve literally asked him out loud, “where’s the trust son, have I ever NOT fed you?”
My mind ponders, hasn’t my track record over these last several months as his personal cow … I mean Mommy, proven that I’ll always provide for him? Hasn’t my consistent response to nurture him shown that he can trust me to never let him go hungry? Hasn’t my comforting presence given him reassurance that I won’t let him down in this area?
Where’s the trust equity?
Isn’t this sometimes like our relationship with God? As our Abba Father, He’s got a perfect track record; He’s the ultimate provider, the author of consistency and The Comforter. He’s all of those things to His children, and yet our faith can still waiver from time to time and we still get anxious as we wait for Him to move on our behalf.
I’m preparing to attend a two night women’s retreat next weekend that is a few hours from home. This will be my first time away from our Cub and as a nursing Mommy I’ve grown anxious that I won’t have enough milk pumped in order to leave my Husband well equipped to feed our son while I’m away.
After sharing this concern with a couple of my friends that are also going on the retreat, one reminded me of the following scripture – do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God [Philippians 4:6]. As I meditated on that scripture, instead of my situation I was reminded of all the prior times that I’ve needed to pump a specific amount of milk, i.e., in order to leave the Cub with a sitter, or to take with us on a family road trip, or to carry with us for a full day away from home running errands. In each and every one of these situations God has ALWAYS provided and fulfilled my need to care for our son. He has never let me down, not once!
The way in which I want our son to trust me, God wants us to put our full trust in Him.
After recognizing the trust equity that God has built in our relationship, I was able to let go of the anxiety and lean on my faith and rejoice in the fact that I’ll be away enjoying the retreat next weekend and that my son will be home with his Daddy, happy and with a full belly!